๐“ฏ๐“‚ƒ Rainy Afternoons

It has been raining in my city for the past few days, not heavily, but constantly enough that everything feels a bit damp all the time. The streets never fully dry, and the sky stays this flat, pale gray that doesn't really change from morning to evening. I've started checking the weather less because it doesn't seem to matter. It's always some version of rain.


My usual routes feel different in this weather. Walking past the same buildings and shops, everything looks slightly muted, like the city turned its brightness down. The main street looks heavier too, darker and slower, even when the rain is light. Perhaphs people here dislike the rain. Can't relate to them, then.


I've noticed I walk faster without really deciding to, just trying to get from one place to another without lingering too much. The trams have been more crowded than usual, probably because fewer people want to walk or bike. The windows fog up quickly, and everything inside feels a bit too warm compared to outside. It suffocates me time from time.


Yesterday, I decided to walk part of the way home anyway. My shoes got slightly wet, not soaked, just uncomfortable enough to notice with every step. I passed by a row of trees along the sidewalk, and the rain dripping from the leaves came down heavier than the actual rain. For a second, I stopped under one of them to lit my cigarette and immediately regretted it. It's weird how I can forget something so obvious.


What I've been noticing most is how the rain changes my mood without being dramatic about it. I feel more inward, less interested in being out for too long, but not necessarily in a bad way. Mostly, I just want to sleep. At home, I find myself either not really doing much, either doing a lot.


I think I actually like this kind of weather more than I usually admit. There's something about the rain that makes everything feel calmer and more manageable, like the day doesn't expect too much from me, unlike when it's sunny. Even just coming back inside, taking off a damp jacket, and settling into the quiet feels comforting rather than inconvenient.

๐“ฏ๐“‚ƒ About Smoking
I was just thinking that quitting smoking is actually really easy. For me. E.g, I quit for a while last year (November 2025) and, surprisingly, it worked out great. I didn't even want to smoke. True, I felt a little nauseous at first. I lasted a little over a month, and then I realized I was getting bored more often, and I was constantly looking for any excuse to go outside.
Which is ridiculous, actually.
People around me don't ask a single question when I go out for a smoke. But when I say I just want to go for a walk, for no apparent reason, they immediately assume something's wrong. It's annoying.

By the way, what about privileges for smokers in the army? I'm certainly not a man and won't join the army, but the fact that soldiers who smoke are treated better still exists. It's weird.

a really good video about cigs' history.
another one
๐“ฏ๐“‚ƒ About Discord
Back to the day when I reinstalled my Windows system and didn't save dc backup codes. For some reason that ass thought I've added a SECURITY KEY for my account when I only added a fucking Win Hello passkey. It started requesting a mf sec key even tho I've never had one.
I'm never forgiving you for that, discord.

But well, maybe it's for the best. After all, now I definitely can't look back. There's just a hell of a lot tied up with my ex-friends in dc -- I don't want to think about.
๐“ฏ๐“‚ƒ About smth
People around me keep telling me to write everything I think in the diary or journal. I don't feel like it. Which one could find a bit weird: previously I was pretty good at describing thoughts on paper. But it was in my childhood. Nowadays, it's hard for me and takes a big piece of my energy. Maybe I'm just used to keeping everything inside my head. They say it's bad for me, but I don't actually care. It's too draining to try to explain what I think, even to(on) my diary or a journal.
People often tell me I'm boring to talk to or that they dislike the dry answers. Then again, I don't really careโ€”but I still need to somehow derive some benefit from interacting with people.
corny
๐“ฏ๐“‚ƒ About tea
Today I thought about tea more than usually.
Out of all drink, tea must be the third best drink people ever created. Though I'm not such a big fan of it and do prefer coffee, it's still good.

Especially great is Chinese tea. That teas from my country are so mid. It's so plain. Only expensive ones are good. And they're not always good. But Chinese tea, even the cheap one, is always good, if speaking from my experience (I still prefer more expensive ones anw).

So on my try-next list are definitely Jin Xuan (from a specific company(!)), Da Hong Pao(Big Red Robe), and some more. I really want to try the second one, because despite that I usually drink green tea(just because it has a better effect on metabolism and other stuff), I'm more of a "black tea person".
It's such a good thing that China supplies a lot of stuff to my country. I'll update this post/create a new one when I buy the tea I want.
๐“ฏ๐“‚ƒ About the site
Suddenly got an inspiration to rewamp my site. Though it was nearly done for a week, I recently had my Windows reinstalled and lost almost all assets for the site. I had to find new pics for backgroundโ€”which was PAINFUL, everything looked so uglyโ€”, had to find the font again, dividers...
But I think it's for the best. I like the current version way more.

I've wanted to rewamp my site for so long. It's been 7 months or something. I'm happy with the result.